


expect bad dad jokes

by 1989



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Adoption, Dadvid Appreciation Week, Fluff, Gen, for now (; mwahaha, happy stuff, more tags to eventually come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-21 15:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12460404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1989/pseuds/1989
Summary: My contributions to Dadvid Appreciation Week!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i literally wrote this in one sitting so i'm sorry if it's lacking
> 
> i've been so busy lately and haven't been able to write at all, which i'm super sorry about. I'm trying to get back on track and update things asap but. yanno. life. i really wanted to participate in dadvid week though because it makes me super duper happy and aaa. i hope you enjoy my lil contributions!!
> 
> day one- the moment david became dadvid

For the past eight months, Max's life had been incredibly tolerable.

It'd take nothing short of a knife to the throat for him to admit he sincerely _enjoyed_  it, of course. Still, he refused to outright denounce the situation to anyone who asked, as it felt like a giant slap in the face to the man who put his life on pause to provide him with shelter and unwavering support.

This particular morning was detrimental to the future of Max's life here, and could possibly determine whether he slept in a bed tonight or on the streets. _Okay-_  that was a tad bit hyperbolic. He highly doubted that David of all people would kick out a defenseless child, but it was still a possibility he had to consider.

The moment he blinked into consciousness, Max hopped from bed and yanked a hoodie over his head, stuffing a stack of papers and a ballpoint pen he'd hidden in his dresser into its pocket. He was eager to get this over as quickly as possible, even though the butterflies in his stomach begged him to postpone it a few hours. Max ignored the nervousness rising in his gut to the best of his ability and padded out of his bedroom and into the kitchen.

As he arrived, he noticed David standing at the stove flipping pancakes. Max walked to the counter directly behind him and attempted to pull himself onto a barstool. "Morning, sleepyhead!" David glanced behind his shoulder and greeted. The child gritted out a half-hearted attempt at a response, still unsuccessfully trying to hop onto the seat that he barely reached eye level with. Upon recognizing Max's struggle, David set down his spatula and crossed the counter. "Lemme help," he said, hoisting the boy upwards from under his arms. Max huffed in defiance at the unwanted assistance, but decided against kneeing David in the gut like he had last time. It apparently hurt and could've potentially ruptured his internal organs, or something of the sort. It sounded like fabricated bullshit, but Max didn't want to be lectured on violence and the proper ways to express his feelings again.

"I really need to invest in some smaller furniture," David murmured to himself before heading back towards the stove. Once his egg-shaped timer beeped, the redhead carefully placed two pancakes onto each plate that was set on the nearby counter.

"Any dreams last night?" David casually asked as he set down a ( _small_ ) mug of coffee in front of Max, along with his dish. He insisted that the ten year old drink orange juice or milk on school days, but was willing to compromise during the weekend.

"Not really," Max admitted before snatching the cup and taking a large gulp, completely immune to its temperature after years of consuming the scalding drink. Truthfully, Max hadn't gotten enough rest the previous night to properly dream. He'd spent the majority of it tossing around in bed while worrying about the coming day, anxiety swirling in his gut like a pack of rabid bears. When he did manage to drift off, he dreamt solely of the walls of a police station he'd been dragged to after being found running away from home. Max refused to tell David this, for obvious reasons.

The pair doused their respective plates in syrup and proceeded to eat in a comfortable silence that Max was greatly appreciative of. Despite how excitable and loud his foster dad typically was, he still possessed to capacity to realize when Max was too tired to talk, and never forced him to do so. The quiet also allotted him extra time to internally rehearse precisely what he wanted to say. He'd been figuring it out over the course of the entire week, but it never hurt to practice just in case he lost track of his words.

Once they both finished, David set their dirty plates in the sink and squeezed a dollop of detergent over them each and left the dishes to soak.

"I need to talk to you about something," Max said as soon as David turned back around, instantly berating himself at how timid he sounded. Wonderful, this was spiraling out of his control before it'd even begun.

"What's up, bud?" David asked, reclaiming the seat next to Max. He was maintaining a smile, yet there was an unmistakable twinge of concern lacing his tone.

Max peered down at his lap and stuck his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, busying himself with twirling around the pen strategically tucked inside. He took a deep breath to calm his steadily increasing nerves and spoke before he could completely back out. "I really like living here!" he blurted, tightly balling his fists as if doing so would aid in forcing out the words. David's eyes widened in surprise before his mouth twitched upwards into a bright grin. "Well, I like having you here!"

"Shut up!" Max snapped. If he was going to recite his speech verbatim he couldn't afford any interruptions. His foster dad appeared momentarily taken aback, but kept grinning regardless- truly, nothing could ruin Max openly admitting to liking his home life.

"I like living here, and-" he paused, digging his nails further into his palms until crescents materialized on his skin. Shit, he'd thrown him off and made him forget what came next. He really should've made index cards like Neil suggested, but the idea was too tacky for him to go through with.

"Max? Are you okay?" David placed a hand on his shoulder, which the child promptly shrugged off. He didn't want to make David _concerned_ , dammit, he just needed to tell him that he appreciated him. Was that really so hard to do without screwing up?

"I'm-" he tried once more, only for his voice to hitch in his throat. Max released his fists to shield his eyes from sight, dragging tiny hands down the length of his face in frustration. " _Shit._  I've already fucked up so badly, just-" he reached into his pocket and retrieved a stack of neatly folded papers, "-take these." Max shoved them into David's hands like he intended to give him a nasty paper cut.

The child squirmed in his seat as David blinked down at the documents with an unreadable expression. Max wished with every miniscule fiber of his being that he would say something, absolutely _anything_  to break the palpable tension that hung between them; alas, it only extended as David silently leafed through the papers, his eyes scanning over the small font.

"You don't have to say yes," Max finally managed, his voice exuding nervousness. He was mostly preparing himself for the rejection that was inevitably about to come, but he also felt like David might need a sharp reminder that he wasn't obligated to agree. Max knew deep within his mind that he wouldn't want to be permanently stuck with a kid as awful as him, but he was also aware that David was the kind of sucker to be guilted into doing so.

"I don't care if you say no," he murmured, still mostly speaking to himself. "It's stupid anyways. I just thought... I dunno what I thought. I guess it started when I got in trouble with a substitute last month and she threatened to call my 'legal guardian.' It took a minute for me to realize she meant _you,_  because I'd been thinking of you as my dad for so long. Then I realized you're technically _not_ , and it made me weirdly sad. You do everything that a normal, sane parent should for their kid, even though you technically don't have to. You could send me away whenever you get tired of dealing with me, and I _know_  there's times you should, like when I bring home bad math grades or slap the neighbours kid, but you... don't. You've never given up on me." Max mustered all the courage within his small frame and chanced a glance up towards David. "And I- holy shit, are you _crying_?!"

David's eyes were, indeed, red and glistening with unshed tears that threatened to spill with the slightest of movements. "You really want me to adopt you?" He asked in a shaky voice full of elated surprise.

"Um... yes?" Max hoped that was the correct response.

Evidently it was, as he was engulfed in a gigantic hug immediately after answering.

"Of course!" David practically babbled, pulling him as close as humanely possible. Relief spread throughout Max's body as he struggled to hug his dad back, his limbs momentarily frozen out of shock.

David pulled away after a moment but kept his hands securely on Max's shoulders. "Why would I _ever_  say no to that, Max?" He asked incredulously, his bright grin sharply contrasting the tears streaming down his cheeks. "I love you more than anything on this planet, and I want nothing more than for you to legally be my son."

Max had to blink back hot tears that'd begun to prick at his own eyes. He could hardly believe that he was so paralyzed by the fear of rejection that he lost sight of who David was, and how much he truly cared for him. "I love you too, Dad," he sniffled, flinging his arms around David.

Even though Max usually detested physical affection of any kind, he was currently determined to hug the _shit_  out of David. "Thank you," he mumbled against his shoulder, basking in the warmth and security of the embrace.

"You're so, so welcome, kiddo." They remained like that for a minute more before a burning question suddenly crossed David's mind. "Hey, Max?"

"Yeah-huh?"

"How did you get ahold of adoption papers?"

"I printed them out at the library, duh."

"...You did _what_  now?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day two- movie/tv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after reading this i realized it probably..... doesn't follow the prompt super well? it follows max & david and he's max's dad n all, buuuuut.... i dunno, you'll have to see for yourself. 
> 
> that being said, i really really like this! meet the robinsons is my FAVOURITE movie of all time & i just had to write something based around it ;w; i tried to make as much sense as possible (& i definitely took some artistic liberties in terms of dialogue & characterization) but it'll make 100% more sense if you've actually seen it. i hope this is enjoyable!!

Fighting a tyrannosaurus rex with his family- which included his father in child form and a group of domesticated frogs who possessed the ability to speak- wasn't _precisely_  how Max anticipated to spend his Thursday evening, but he'd definitely had worse ones. He should've known that he'd opened his life up to this level of insanity the moment he brought his dad ( _Davey,_  as he'd introduced himself upon their "first" meeting) twenty years into the future to repair the family's ship. In Max's defense, there was no one else on the scope of the planet who understood how to fix it, and, unable to tell his actual father out of fear of being punished for breaking it, he settled for the most reasonable alternative: his dad at twelve years old.

Davey agreed to tag along, on one measly condition: Max had to take them to the past afterwards in order to see his birth mother.

Max expected the mission to go smoothly. Davey would fix the ship and Max would drop him off in his present time before he was forced to uphold his end of the deal. It seemed simple enough.

There was only one variable Max forgot to consider: his large, overbearing family.

His grandfather had wandered into the garage while Davey was underneath the ship, apparently searching for the dentures he'd lost for the third time that day. He didn't notice Davey- likely on account of his cataracts- but it was too close of a call for Max to risk him staying without a disguise. The thirteen year old nabbed a pineapple hat from god knows where and shoved it over Davey's head, demanding that he keep it on for the entirety of the trip. When he asked why, Max told him that his family would instantly know that Davey was from the past if they saw his "disgustingly 2007 haircut."

It wasn't _completley_  a lie.

Upon realizing Max had a "friend" over, his family simultaneously invited the child to stay for dinner. Things had gone... relatively normal during the meal. Until the aforementioned tyrannosaurs rex broke through the wall of their house and tried attacking them.

Ravenous dinosaurs aside, the Robinsons emerged victorious and were currently huddled around congratulating one another on defeating the prehistoric beast. You know, normal things that families do.

Max took the commotion as the perfect opportunity to grab Davey, sprint to the garage and head back to the past before anyone noticed their absence. Just as he was preparing to do so, his mom came rushing towards the pair of boys to check on them.

"Are you two okay?" His mother Gwen asked, kneeling onto the damp grass before them and grabbing Max's face to inspect for any visible signs of injury.

"We're _fine,_  Mom," he grumbled, listlessly patting at the hands squishing his cheeks. Gwen sighed in relief at finding him unharmed and patted the boy's head lovingly.

"Well, I'm _great!_ " Davey cheered from besides them, pumping his fist in the air in an enthusiastic gesture. He paced back and forth excitedly, unable to contain the ceaseless energy vibrating off of him. "We totally showed that dinosaur who's boss! Jeez, it was so cool, Mom!"

A sharp silence fell over the backyard at Davey's mistake, and the boy flung his hands over his mouth in embarrassment once he realized what exactly had come from it.

"I, uh- I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" Davey stuttered, uselessly clutching at words that could somehow make the suituation less awkward.

"No, no, it's okay," Gwen suddenly interrupted him, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. She tried her hardest to give what she prayed was a reassuring smile before wrapping the boy in a quick embrace. His entire demeanour practically screamed "unloved child", and that, coupled with the fact that he was almost disturbingly _familiar_  to her made Gwen want to provide him with a stable, happy home, as he obviously wasn't getting love from anywhere else. "I'm glad that you're safe," she told him after releasing his shoulders.

"Wait, you're hurt..." Davey pointed at her forehead, his eyes wide with concern.

"Hm?" Gwen reached up to feel for any trickling blood, only then recognizing the throbbing sensation that had spread across her temple. "It's only a bruise, Davey," she assured him after her fingers came back spotless. Nothing a couple ibuprofen couldn't remedy.

"You all sacrificed your own wellbeing to keep one another safe," Davey sniffed, his eyes suddenly welling with tears like he hadn't been shown kindness his entire life. Gwen preferred not to dwell on the possibility that he in fact hadn't been, instead chopping it up to him naturally being emotional.

"Well, of course!" Uncle Art chimed in, blatantly surprised at the child's reaction.

"Isn't that what families are for?" Another unidentified voice from the group shouted.

Max's eye twitched at the heartwarming moment that was beginning to form. He hated anything vaguely sentimental to begin with, but this was the last place he'd expected anything of the sort to arise in.

"Oh-kaaay everyone, it's been an exhausting day full of shit that's weird even by _our_ standards, so how about you all get some rest while I walk Davey home?" Max cut in, grabbing his friend's arm and attempting to drag him away before anyone could protest the decision.

Max, unfortunately, had no such success. Murmurs of disappointment immediately erupted from his family as if they were about to loose one of their own- which they technically _were_ \- the majority looking onwards with a distressed expression drawn across their faces.

"Are you sure you have to go now?" Aunt Billie asked, frowning.

"Y'know, it _is_  getting a bit late. Maybe Davey could stay overnight?" Gwen looked at Max expectantly, like he'd jump at the opportunity.

Davey opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Max before he could get a single syllable in edgewise. "Nope, he can't, super strict foster parents."

"Well, our door's open anytime you want to come over. You never have to ask. The truth is, Davey... we really love having you here," she admitted, her claim instantly supported by the various family members that voiced their agreement.

" _Mom._  We have to go," Max argued stubbornly, tugging on Davey's sleeve to yank him away from the rapidly escalating situation.

"No," his mother rebuffed. She calmly grabbed ahold of Davey's empty hand and flashed him a gentle smile as if silently apologizing for her son's behaviour.

"What do you mean _no?!_ " Max sputtered, feebly slapping at her hand.

"You have _stay_ ," she calmly replied, giving Davey's hand a small squeeze. "Really, who would make a better family for you than us?" Gwen gestured to the family members directly behind her, all of whom were looking onwards with a supportive, loving smile. "Whaddya say, Davey? Would you like to become a Robinson?"

Max swore he could physically feel his brain short circuit on account of the question. This was crossing _countless_  moral boundaries, and he was almost certain this wasn't how adoption worked! His grip on Davey tightened significantly, but the boy appeared too elated to currently receive any pain signals.

"You want to adopt me?!" A blindingly bright grin broke across Davey's face while he uncontrollably stomped on the ground out of pure excitement. "Yes!"

As the rest of his family erupted into delighted cheers, Max's stomach twisted into tight knots. This was _not_  how things were supposed to go. Davey's sole objective was to fix their time machine and be brought back to the present without disrupting the space time continuum. Being adopted by his literal future wife  _wasn't part of the equation._

Clueless as to what else to do, Max quickly flipped off the hat he'd given Davey to conceal his true identity and turned away to avoid seeing the shocked expressions on his relatives faces.

As expected, a simultaneous gasp resounded throughout the small crowd that was followed by a stunned silence. No one dared to move a single muscle besides Davey who's eyebrows furrowed in confusion before he realized what he assumed to be the root of their shock.

"Oh, okay," the child laughed slightly as he leaned down to retrieve the fallen hat. "You all know I'm from the past now. But that's okay! No one from my time cares about me anyways, so I can easily move here."

Gwen hardly heard his response as she turned to the boy who was attempting to quietly slink away from the unspoken chaos. "Max..." she snarled, stopping him dead in his tracks. "What the _fuck_  did you do?"

Davey's smile promptly dissolved at Gwen's harsh tone that had been nothing short of kind and welcoming a mere moment ago. He watched as Max trudged back to his previous spot, his eyes downcast.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't expect things to get so out of hand," he grumbled, sticking his hands in his hoodie.

"What could've possibly compelled you to bring _him-_ " a hand shot out towards Davey, addressing him in a manor that might've suggested he wasn't even present, "-of all people to the future?!"

"Hey," Davey interjected, placing himself between Max and his mother. He couldn't begin to comprehend what was so reprehensible about bringing particularly him to the future, but he doubted it warranted being yelled at. "Please don't punish Max, he was just being a good friend!"

Gwen rubbed her temple and inhaled deeply in a vain attempt to retain her composure. "Look, David," she tried, managing to keep her tone level as she kneeled down before him. "You're- you're a _great_  kid, and there's no ounce of doubt in my mind that you'll find an amazing family. But-" Gwen stood and wrapped her arms around her midsection as if trying to comfort herself amidst the sudden turmoil. "It can't be us."

Davey's heart sank to the floor. This had to be a sick joke, right? Was Max's family secretly full of sociopaths that loved feeding on the despair of children? "But you literally just said that you-!"

"I know!" Gwen raised her voice but caught herself before she was screaming at the person who deserved mistreatment the least. "I know what I said. And I'm sorry. Please, you have to believe that we sincerely love you, and that none of us would intentionally hurt you. But you just... you can't stay."

Davey stood stock still, his hands twitching at his sides as he struggled to take in the information. This alone was somehow worse than the six hundred and eighty four failed interviews with parents that he "just wasn't a good fit for." He thought that he'd finally found a family that understood and cared, but it'd been ripped from him within an instant for unexplainable reasons. "Can I at least go back and see my mom?" He managed, his voice weak. "Max promised."

"Jesus _Christ,_ " Davey heard Max groan from beside him, accompanied by the unmistakable sound of a hand smacking square against a forehead.

"You told him _what?!_ " Gwen's anger visibly increased tenfold; the woman shot daggers at her child and tightly gripped the hair at her scalp as unconstrained rage radiated off her.

"I wasn't actually going to do it!" Max shouted, throwing his hands up in a show of defeat. "What, do you honestly think I'm that stupid?!"

Davey's jaw fell slack as he turned towards Max. "What do you mean you weren't going to do it?" He asked carefully, not trusting himself to have heard correctly.

Max's eyes widened for a brief moment as he recognized the weight of what he'd admitted before returning to their usual state of icy indifference. "I just told you that so you'd fix our ship, you moron!"

It was... a lie the entire time?

Max's family, dinner, the promise to _finally_  meet his birth mother after twelve years of believing there wasn't a single soul on the planet who valued his existence? It was all a ruse to get him to fix a damn ship?

Davey kicked at the dirt beneath him. "I can't believe I actually thought you were my friend," he choked out, glancing up at Max with tears spilling from his eyes.

Max's heart stalled at the broken look utterly encapsulating the other boy, and was instantly struck with a huge pang of guilt. "Wait, Dad- _s_ _hit,_  I mean, David-" he tried calling, but he'd bolted off too quickly to catch the slip up, sprinting down the hill as fast as his legs would carry him.

" _Ahem._ " Gwen cleared her throat, drawing Max's attention back towards she and the family. He was met with nine expressions that surpassed the regular definition of anger- they each looked thoroughly disappointed, like they were internally plotting out the easiest way to disown a thirteen year old.

"You're in some deep shit," she laughed mirthlessly, even though the amount of trouble he was in was conspicuous simply by reading her facial expression. "I'm calling your father- you know, the real one and not some defenseless kid you dragged here from an orphanage?"

Gwen spun on her heel and stomped away, followed by the remaining family members who each tsked at Max before turning away themselves. Max was left completely alone in the backyard with a singular thought on his mind:

'I _seriously_  fucked up.'

**Author's Note:**

> didja catch the small lil nod to matilda when max says he printed them @ the library
> 
> honestly that whole last scene in matilda is every dadvid fanfiction ever. her parents are shitholes & sign over adoption papers and voilà ms honey is legally her mother ahhaah


End file.
